One of the various things I do is write esports. And recently, the company I work for was sold. It might be me, but I can feel a significant cultural difference in terms of how the company culture works now, it being a more top-down approach, a more one-sided affair. And that is not encouraging for me.
Esports writing combined a holy grail of hobbies for me - writing, esports and traveling. A big reason why I have started enjoying it less is because of my accident. I am not yet sure of how much I can travel elsewhere, and if I do, do I really want it to be work? Possibly not.
What is esports?
A lot of you might not know what esports. Sounds a lot like sports, but what's that e? Electronic? I think electronic sports adequately defines esoprts, although that is not the actual full-form of the word.
So coming back to my individual contribution and association with esports. Over the past few weeks, especially after VCT, I've felt like I've been watching esports more from an angle of work. Combining your hobby and work sounds fun, but it realy isn't. How do you distinguish your life from work and hobby/fun. For me, the two worlds intertwine too much for me to enjoy. The money is not a factor. Esports contributes less than half of my individual monthly earnings, it's more about the passion for writing, traveling and esports that endeared me to this industry. And somewhere this trifecta of hobbies and interests seems to be waning cause of the nature of the job.
I;ll be frank, I'm not the best at what I do. I don't often get the highest views on the website. But I've been consistent throughout my time at the company, often beating targets by a handsome margin. A few weeks ago, I had written only two articles (published*). While I actually did write a couple of SEO pieces and I am vrey very confident I have smashed the monthly quota easily, the two article published for the week was a symbol of my disinterest in the industry. I'm not creating something. A big reason why I started writing was to express my opinions and write features. That's what interests me. But I'm not big enough for websites to hire me for feature writing, well, not exclusively for that anyways.
I'm seriously contemplating a few things about my future- both within esports and outside of it. If I do decide to stay in esports, I want to build offline infrastructure for it. I want to be able to create something that is mine. The other option, the more likely one, is to quit esports entirely. I'll still be enjoying esports. By all means, I'll still get those 1000 level battlepasses in Dota 2 again. But I'll actually enjoy Twitch and Esports tournaments way more than I am right now.
As of today, I'm writing this on the 21st. There's a Dota 2 Major and a CS GO Major going on. I would never have chosen the CSGO Major over the Dota 2 one, but due to my work-commitment I have had to do that.
That's just one example of how I have had change my habits and my personal approach to work cause of the nature of the work. Given a cChance, I would not have moved to CS: GO matches, I find them incredibly boring and sort of repetitive. Although I got my entry into esports writing via CS:GO, it was not my first love or the biggest love even. In FPS games, I prefer other titles such as Overwatch and more recently, Valorant over CS: GO. But I would definitely have been watching the ESL One Dota 2 Major, no doubt about that. I love Dota 2.
Anyways, I am digressing. Moving to Bhubaneswar is a new lease of life for me. I'm looking forward to bringing back some semblance in my life and order. One of those things is to double my income by June 2023. If I am able to do that, assuming I can, the next step will be to transition out of the esports industry by end-2023.
Life's been thrown for a toss. I'm trying to find my footing in life, and somewhere in the back of my mind, the new owners don't make much sense.
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