Hello World!
Today I took a very big first step to better my life. I will soon be talking to a therapist, online, but yes, I will be talking to a therapist. It feels weird to be even thinking about talking to a therapist, but my options have been limited and that is also a part of the problem right.
I think I needed a therapist a couple of years ago, maybe even ten years ago tbh. Different circumstances, but I was just distracted by a lot of stuff. But today, nearly one year after my leg amputation, I am looking forward to starting my life in a better way.
I’m not exactly sure what Therapy is going to do for me, and maybe that’s where Therapy will help me. Telling me what it is I actually need. Or maybe change perspective. I know what my problems are, at least the Major ones, and I am going in with those problems. Let’s see what happens.
Now I won’t get diagnosed. I’m just going to talk - therapy. Why you ask? Well, apparently, being diagnosed with mental problems in India essentially means you are cut off from health insurance policies (or at least severely limit yourself) and more.
Does that mean I am Ill?
I’m not ill. I feel good, but there’s overwhelming pressure on me, on my mind to fix some things. Now I don’t want to go into details over here cause this is a public platform, but after having thought over it for the past few months, I have come to the conclusion that now is the right time to do it.
It’s going to be weird, super weird for me. I take my own sweet time to trust people, and then I just open up the dams of thoughts and emotions on them. Going to a stranger, paying them even, and then telling them your heart and thoughts is not easy.
The very first question I am going to have is - this person is judging me, idk what he is thinking. I'm telling them my thoughts, shouldn’t they reciprocate?
It’s online, so that means it’s good that my parents and my brother (who seem to be always around me now - God it’s suffocating) have no idea who my therapist is. Or else - you know Indian parents right? - go straight to the Doctor and talk about the patient as if he is a school-going child.
And anyway, part (or most) of my problems do involve parents - so that won’t be a good look.
I’m looking forward to seeing how the sessions go - I’ve taken a package of four sessions (one felt insufficient)
It’s my first foray into Therapy. And part 1 is finding the right therapist. I’ve signed up with Manastha - it’s got good reviews for online consultations across the spectrum - so I am excited to see what I can experience.
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