Therapy is an important part of our lives today. The need to talk to someone to air out your problems helps in more ways than one. It helps you get a new perspective, it helps you to try and provide a different solution to your problems than the one that’s been stuck forever in your mind. But the biggest part of therapy is finding the right therapist. I’ve started my journey in therapy and it’s been a learning experience of what I want in a therapist versus what I don’t want.
What do I want in a therapist?
Someone who can listen to me.
Someone who can give me advice but after understanding my life and circumstances that led to some decisions.
A person who acts professional and well… doesn’t tell me 40 minutes in - “ I don’t want to hear you sulk”
What do I not want in a therapist?
Judgment.
Trying to uproot life at the earliest
I’ve had one session. Safe to say it didn’t go anywhere as expected for me. As you guys know, I constantly do some introspection into my life. I have, I think, a good understanding of what are the various problems plaguing my life.
But I also understand that it might be a narrow-visioned thing where I cannot see things that are in front of me. But my therapist, in the first session, my therapist suggested I just move out of the city and return to Mumbai. And she was very urgent about it.
She never considered asking me my plan for staying here, whether it's permanent or whether I am going back in a few years. Also, there were clear assumptions on her part that I am staying in a far-fetched uncivilized area, just because she head Odisha. That in itself highlights her ignorance and lack of trying to get an understanding of the situation.
Yes, Mumbai is a familiar place and it might have been the best place for me to recover. But life changes and life throws lemons at you. The point being… it’s difficult to judge someone’s life based on 15 minutes of talk.
I’m not trying to judge her therapy based off one session either, although it might seem like I am. Her suggestions to me were more about helping others than myself, which is why I have sought therapy with Manastha.
I have booked four sessions and frankly I severely regret it. I have a feeling I know how the next few sessions are going and I won’t be really renewing with Manastha at all. I think finding a private therapist who is more well-known and can relate more is more important. I could sense a lot of judgement and ‘Oh this is so easy for you’ in her voice and I definitely resent that.
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